Get HAMMERED with our INCREDIBLE Loan Rates!
Why settle for 30% interest when you could pay 1000-5000%? Caleb Hammer is here to help you dig a hole you'll never climb out of!
Why Choose Hammer Loans?
LIGHTNING FAST APPROVAL
Get approved in seconds! Our sophisticated algorithm says YES when everyone else says NO. There's a reason for that, but we won't tell you what it is!
NO CREDIT CHECK
Bad credit? No credit? Terrible financial decisions? No problem! We don't care about your credit score because our rates make up for it!
FLEXIBLE REPAYMENT
Can't pay on time? Great! We LOVE when that happens. Our late fees and rollover charges are how Caleb affords his seventh yacht!
Calculate Your Financial Doom
Loan Calculator
See how much you'll owe Cabel after your "affordable" loan!
Hear From Our "Satisfied" Customers
John Bankrupt
Debtsville, CA
"Thanks to Caleb Hammer, I now live in my car! But at least I had $500 for a weekend. Best decision I never properly thought through!"
* "Real" is a subjective term. These testimonials are as real as our commitment to fair lending.
Meet Caleb Hammer: Financial Predator Extraordinaire
Caleb Hammer started his career selling snake oil before realizing that predatory lending was much more profitable. With a heart as cold as his cash vault and a moral compass that only points to profit, Caleb has built an empire on the backs of desperate borrowers.
His philosophy is simple: "Why charge 30% when you can charge 3000%?" This innovative approach has made him a pariah in the financial industry but a hero to shareholders.
When not foreclosing on widows or adding extra zeros to interest rates, Caleb enjoys counting money, avoiding taxes, and lobbying against consumer protection laws.
"If you can't afford my rates, you probably shouldn't eat either."
Frequently Asked Questions
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